10 Things I Learned to Live With in Ecuador

In my last post I made a list of 10 Things I Will Miss About Ecuador, and today I am doing kind of the opposite: not exactly a list of things I dislike about this place, but a humorous look at the things I had to adjust to while living here.

Marc modeling proper Pilsener consumption (thanks Desiree for the photo).

10. Surviving on Only Two Kinds of Beer

In college, I lived across the street from a store that sold 400 types of beer. When I tried explaining this to my Spanish teacher, she just thought I didn’t know how to say numbers properly and kept trying to correct me. In Ecuador, there are only two types of beer that are readily available: Pilsner and Club (also known as the one in the brown bottle and the one in the green bottle). Both kinds are drinkable but nothing I will yearn for when I go home.

09. The Cheek Kiss That Sometimes Turns Into the Mouth Kiss

The cheek kiss is a gesture I might actually miss. Once you get used to greeting people this way, a handshake seems kind of impersonal and stuffy. However, I learned very early on that the exact placement of the lips on the cheek says a lot about someone’s feelings toward you. An air kiss is an act of obligation; an actual cheek kiss can be very caring and warm. But ladies, watch out! Migration toward the actual lips can quickly turn to getting fresh. While leaning in for a greeting during my first week in Ecuador, a young man I had just met went right for it and planted a kiss on my lips. I have since learned to prohibit this sort of thing from happening.

My laundry folded and wrapped… but clean? Maybe not.

08. The Laundry Lady Not Actually Washing My Clothes

My roommate once caught a laundry lady sniffing and separating clothes into piles: one for washing, one for fluffing, and the other just for folding. I thought I had found a trusty laundry lady until further investigation in the armpit areas revealed this not to be the case. Since then, my mission is to stink up my clothes so bad she is forced to wash every item.

07. Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. Or a Lack Thereof.

Yes, Ecuador uses U.S. currency, but if you plan on visiting bring a roll of quarters and a wad of the smallest bills you can manage. Nobody here has change. Ever. It’s as if the U.S. only allowed a certain amount of coinage to seep into the country, and now everyone has to guard their nickels and dimes. Very often, convenience stores would rather sell you nothing at all than change a 10-dollar bill and one time a cab driver chastised my boss for using an “enormous bill” when she tried to pay with a five for a $3 fare. Once I nearly had a panic attack when I found myself with only a 20-dollar bill and needed a quarter for the bus. The only good news is that Ecuador seems to have taken stock in those Sacagawea dollars that everyone in the U.S. finds annoying.

Typical blue skies at the Basilica in Quito, Ecuador. Two hours later there was a downpour.

06. Small Talk About the Weather Doesn’t Cut It

In Quito, talking about the weather is as simple a statement as “the sky is blue.” The weather is the same every single day, so there’s no use mentioning it unless you got caught in the almost daily afternoon rain. Seriously, some days I feel like I live in the movie Groundhog’s Day.

05. Playing Frogger on a Daily Basis

Pedestrians do not have the right of way in Ecuador. In fact, they barely have the right to get out of the way. On our half hour walk to work every morning, my coworkers and I are practically targeted by giant SUVs and buses barreling down the road belching fumes. Crossing the street is a serious ordeal, and we have each saved one another from oncoming traffic on multiple occasions.

Something about riding in the back of pickup trucks just makes you smile.

04. Riding in the Back of Pickup Trucks

Okay, okay. I had done this in the U.S. before, but not to the extent it has happened here. Out in the backwoods and in the city, riding in a pickup truck is a perfectly acceptable means of transit. And if you happen to have a bunch of boxes or scrap metal you are hauling around, go ahead and let your children sit on top of it. It is also okay for a family of four to traverse the city smushed together on a motorcycle, and as far as I know there is no such thing as a car seat in this country (or a stroller, for that matter).

03. I See Men Peeing. Everywhere.

I’m not one to complain when nature calls and a friend runs into a back alley to relieve themselves. But in Ecuador, men don’t even seem to think twice about urinating with an audience. Just the other day my friend Desiree reported seeing two men crossing streams off a curb and into traffic on a busy street. The men then high-fived one another and shouted “Guayaquil in the house!” (that’s another city in Ecuador). This all went down during daylight hours.

Typical Andean meal of llapingauchos, a fried egg, carne de res, avocado and a delicious-looking salad that I would not dare touch.

02. Lettuce as a Deadly Weapon

Of all the foods I thought I would miss in Ecuador, salad was not on the list. The fear of contracting a parasite has led me to push pretty much anything green or with a peel still attached to the side of my plate. I was actually all about eating uncooked vegetables until I squeezed a fresh piece of lime onto some trout only to discover a live slug on the peel. Yup, that’ll do it.

01. Keeping Money in My Bra

It just feels wrong.

Other things some people may find annoying in Ecuador include:

• Fireworks every day of the week
• No flushing toilet paper down the toilet
• Cab drivers refusing to take you to destinations that are up hills or not in the general direction they feel like going
• Everyone acting dumbfounded and cutting you when it comes time to form a line
• Up to 10 minutes in between the appearance of plates at a restaurant
• Slow walkers who step out in front of you and cut your pace in half
• Having to haggle for pretty much everything you purchase

Tags: ecuador, ecuador photo blog, lists, living in ecuador